And then I couldn't muster up enough effort to write anything. And then we only got, like, five trick-or-treaters, and Halloween is one of my favorite holidays....but it was so....vacant, and I felt even worse after that, which sucks because I usually have a great time during Halloween.
So, basically, I've been feeling pretty dead and worthless and all those fun, depressing emotions for days, weeks, months?
Yesterday, I read this: Adventures in Depression
Hyperbole and a Half (by Allie Brosh) is by far one of my favorite things on the internet. Ever.
In this entry, all I can say is that I feel exactly like she depicts herself, except I haven't broken through to the invincible-feeling side.
And there's my story, and that is the reason why I haven't written anything new. And half the reason I don't plan on writing anything soon. The other half of that one is because I have a 50+ page thesis to write. And it's taking literally all I have in me to do that. Especially because all I have in me right now isn't a lot. Despite it being on a topic I have loved since I began to read and write.
~Hammeh
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HEY YOU. I don't know if you'll see this/if you get your comments emailed to you.. but I read that H&aH comic last week and it made me so sad because that's exactly how I felt in Japan. Except I never got to the invincible part... and I'm still not really there. :( As someone who had never experienced depression (probably only out of sheer obliviousness), all I can say is that is really, REALLY sucks. I know I can't make it better for you, but I am seriously here for you whenever/wherever/however/etc. I feel so horrible knowing that you feel this way and I haven't been around in any useful context at all. :((( When I'm not at school/the barn, I am legit sitting either in my house or Justin's so I am alwaysss available. ALWAYS.
tl;dr I love you ♥ and I miss you, and I hope I see you soon*~
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